Pantless Productivity

The latest discovery from my laboratory of pantless monkeys is thus:

Wearing pants decreases productivity by up to 72.3%

Apparently the constriction of the evil garment reduces blood flow to the brain, which causes an inverse potato shaped graph of brain function. The monkeys tested hundreds of subjects in job functions ranging from Coyote Wrestlers to Chia Pet Therapists. Every pantless person’s productivity increased markedly over that of our control group. I am going to write a letter to congress with our findings and ask them to begin working on pantless policy, post-haste!