Where are my pants?
If you are uncomfortable with the whole no pants thing, here's an idea... you can warm up to 05.05(06) in any of these fine ways, yo:
- hide all of your pants. Pretend that you can't find them. If this won't work, because you always remember where you hide things, give them to a friend for the day. Remind me to give you my emergency chocolate too.
- give your pants to a stranger. Ask for them back if you have to, but don't expect to get them.
- freeze your pants. If mom comes over for dinner, just say "oh yeah, all the kids are doing it."
- hang your pants in your front lawn. It's like the totally new Tibetan prayer pant flag thing.
- come back to this blog often for other excellent ideas.
5 Comments:
You could also eat that entire emergency chocolate stash, and then just complain that none of your pants fit anymore.
Also, claim moral crusade against pants in defense of those innocent child slave workers that probably manufactured them.
Pants wanted:
Position open for experienced pants. Must have minimum 18 mos. exp. sagging in butt, stretching around hips. High pressure environment - must be able to zip and button. Prefer slimming look. Comfort a must. Pants high in the crotch need not apply.
Call 1-too-fat-pants or fatpants@hugefuckinghips.com
20151014 junda
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